"What did you just say?"

Answering students' anonymous questions in a sexual health class can be nerve-wracking.  I am thinking about how a parent might react, what the school staff is thinking and if I have the medically accurate information.

But mostly I am thinking about the student who asked the question.
What question is hiding in this question?  What do they REALLY want to know?  What is this student's comfort level with their own sexual health?  Where did they hear these words?  How did they get to age 15 without knowing this information about their bodies?  How did a 12 year old find out about this?  How can I make it clear that the person with the question needs to get some help?  How do I answer this without giving a lecture?  How do I make sure my personal values are not exposed but that I also share the common values of families and communities?

What I have become certain of is this.  

When I read and answer EVERY question with respect and without judgment or fear, the students learn that I can handle whatever is thrown at me.  That is trust.  And when they trust me, they share what they are REALLY DEALING WITH. Because they have A LOT that is thrown at them and they need adults who can help them sort through it.

It has become very clear from our classes and especially from the anonymous questions, that our teens are exposed to a lot of dangerous and irresponsible messages about sex, sexuality and relationships.  And the age at which they are exposed is very young.  

Many students come into our classes with information based on MYTHS and FOLKLORE.  They have been listening to their peers, the media, innuendos in tv shows or even some misinformed family members.  

So as we teach medically accurate and age appropriate information to the teens in our comprehensive sexual health classes, we are opening the door and showing them how they can talk openly, honestly and maturely about sex and relationships.  And when they do, the whole class grows with their new knowledge.  Many will start a conversation with their parents which is an important goal of the PREP program. 

They leave our classes with the TRUST that they have accurate information and the POWER to make healthy decisions for themselves and the CONFIDENCE to start conversations with their parents and partners.
And that's what we really want, right?

--submitted by Gretchen O'Byrne